Know how you react in stressful situations Chances are that in the field you will get into stressful situations. In order to rise above these situations it is important to know how you react when put into such situations. Treat people with respect 'People find it hard to maintain some dignity in difficult situations, for instance in a refugee camp. So it becomes extra important to approach and treat people with extra respect. That is true in all situations but maybe even more so in extreme ones. Let me tell you a very basic thing: being decently dressed counts'. (De Jager, War child) Put the emphasis on pleasure, not on achieving results 'I tell you something I have unlearnt: always shouting that we are going for Number One and that we want to win, things like that. You must say everywhere and all the time: we are going to have a fun game and it's all recreational. They may agree with you but still do the other thing. Just keep repeating it'. (Mark Bulthuis) 'I would certainly not talk about the past. I'd talk about the game and the pleasure you get from playing it. I would emphasize that it's all about having fun, enjoying it. So you don't give someone an earful when he has made a mistake. We do that in training sessions, don't we? So once again the emphasis should be on the pleasure of the game, the fun they can have together and that may lead to enjoying fun for its own sake and hopefully the friendships they are going to entertain later in life'. (Jaap Akkerhuis. He has been working in a volleyball project in Rwanda for the last eight years) Always emphasize the positive 'The kids can do a hundred thousand things wrong and one thing right. Just stress that one good thing they did'. (Mark Bulthuis) Focus on the healthy sides of people and not on the traumatic events and their aftermath 'People who are going to work in developing countries must focus their attention much more on the healthy side of people and their social context, their families, clans and so on. Some knowledge of trauma is of course necessary but you must watch out against focussing too much on the trauma issue. And, certainly, you must carefully look at whether or not someone is traumatised and if so how severely. But you must avoid loading it with too much meaning'. (professor Wolters) Do not engage in conversations about politics and other heavy subjects! (professor Wolters) Focus on sports and communication, not on trauma and how to overcome it I think one of the most important things for people working there is to make sure that they do not feel duty bound to be busy with the trauma issue all the time. They should feel relaxed enough to just enjoy sports activities and having normal communication. That is an extremely important notion. How can you communicate well with people? The rest will follow. Of course, people in certain groups will suffer more from a traumatic experience. That is something you need to have an antenna for and sometimes this will enable you to refer certain people to another expert or an institution. But you must be careful not to start playing the therapist yourself and start endless conversations around this subject. I will clarify this with an example from Rwanda, which has made a deep impression on me. I was in a trauma centre in Kigali, which had been set up by UNICEF, the UN Children's Fund. One of the psychologists told me that he had a boy under treatment and during one of his sessions that boy said: there is blood streaming around my face. That was related to the fact that he had lived in a village that had been exterminated. He had laid there, under piles of corpses, while the blood from those corpses was flowing around his head. He managed to escape but that experience was so invasive and destructive that it kept coming back. But these are very exceptional situations. And yes, if you are confronted with something like that as a sports trainer, then you should leave well alone and refer inasmuch that is possible. (professor Wolters) 'In other non-western cultures, language holds another place on the stage. People may express themselves more non-verbally: dance, music, drawings, and so forth. It is also important to watch people's body language. It is perfectly possible that people you meet are not prepared or able to talk about the very serious things they have been through. This means that you need to take a lot of time and see if the other person is courageous and willing enough to communicate with you about these shocking experiences in a different way. Your presence, warmth, your involvement and efforts may in and of itself already have a healing effect'. (professor Wolters) If someone walks off the field during a training session or a match, the last thing you want to do is go after that person. Do not ask what the matter is. He or she has reasons that do not concern you. And, that person will re-join later. Just make sure that the game - or whatever it is that you are doing - is such great fun that one should really want to be part of it. And do certainly not look for any physical contact, in a kind of gesture of pity. I will not predict that you will immediately be kicked where it hurts but there is a good chance this is what will happen. Trauma experts said to me that it was the worst thing I could do'. (Jaap Akkerhuis) | 