'There was a basket ball game in which I took part and I was intimidated by a 16, 18 years old boy, who was taller than me. It got so bad, every time the referee was not watching he hit me over the head or planted his elbow in my ribs. At some point it became a bit of a riot in the game. I warned the referee. Then one of the coaches called me to the side of the field. He told me that the boy came from Sierra Leone and had been the leader of a gang of child soldiers. This had continued after he had come to Ghana and he had already killed a few people. And then there's you saying things like: basket ball is a non-contact sport. Right? You try to channel all that. He also knows that you are the person he should point all his aggression at - because that will make him score points in the group. So what do you do - and what do you avoid? I don't know. You act intuitively and things work out well. But at the same time, the opposite can happen'. (Mark Bulthuis)

Suggestions by professor Wolters

We presented this case to professor Wolters, a retired lecturer in medical psychology for children and youth, and asked him how you could deal best with such aggression. He said the following:

• Pay attention to the composition of and the relationship between you and the group
• Establish agreements with the group. Set rules about what behaviour will be tolerated and what will be unacceptable. Indicate that sanctions follow infringements.
• If someone becomes aggressive you must make sure that you yourself do not move into the domains of fear or aggression. If you work from fear or a wrong kind of countervailing power, your own aggression, then the situation will become difficult to control.
• Make sure that there will be consequences if the rules have been infringed upon. So if someone is in breach, then something really should be done, there must be a follow-up. You must ask someone to leave, ask for outside help. In extreme cases you can even halt the game. Before and after matches you can also pay extra attention to very vulnerable persons.